Pirate Life

Several have asked that I post this. Eddie, Erik and I have a new apartment in Ann Arbor which is the attic of a house so all the ceilings are sloped and the loft spaces/den are only 4.5ft high in their centers. Eddie and I both sleep in lofts, mine above the kitchen has 60ft of bubble wrap taped to the ceiling so I stop hitting my head.

The wooden ladder to my loft looks a little shaky and a previous tenant has scribed "May Be Lose" on 2 of the rungs. Needless to say, last week while coming down in a rush to study I broke through two rungs and got caught on some nails. It looks worse than it is (I've used about a liter of H2O2 on it). It looks like a letter though, so maybe the more hardcore of us should get some 2X4's w/ nails in them and carve SFSC into our thighs. If anyone has a better party-game for Jane's wedding/bbq I'd like to hear it.

Despite this post or the rules of eccentricity, I'm not a 7, I'm a 5 tops and I don't care how you rate me.
-Adam

Wire - Heartbeat

SCFL Week 3 Recap & Week 4 Preview

The third week of the inaugural Swim Club Football League season may someday be known as "the week Marlowe got her groove back." Every week, the Office of the League Commissioner will issue a detailed analysis of matchups, teams, and noises from the SCFL rumor mill.

NOTE TO GRAHAM AND NICOLE: Check your email - you each have to make a lineup change this week, as you have players in your starting lineup who aren't playing this week!

Week 3 Recap:
fire bugs (Marlowe) defeat Fighting Skeeters (Tristan), 118-98. After a great performance last week, the Skeeters felt confident that they could beat the fire bugs, who had yet to have much of an impact in the SCFL. They underperformed, and the fire bugs did quite well, netting the second-best point total of the week. I'm not sure what happened, but Marlowe's team has potential. This was a big upset.
Smackdown Zombies (Tricia) defeat Mean Machine (Justin), 74-69. In the second big boyfriend-girlfriend rivalry matchup of the season, Tricia edged out Justin in a low-scoring bore-fest. These teams looked a lot better at the beginning of the season, and they're going to have to shape up. 74 points was good enough for this game, but won't do against the better SCFL teams. Like Marlowe's.
Morphing Jelly Rollz (Johannes) defeat Delicious Nachos (Nicole), 99-60. The Commissioner's little brother, after an inconsistent start, catapulted himself to second place in the league. I'm going to say this once - when I lose and my brother wins, I have to hear about it during the week. It's annoying, so please put extra work into your games against the Jelly Rollz.
One Lame Dude (Stefan) defeats Hidden Boners (Graham), 129-56. The first battle for Grand Rapids was a blowout. Stefan's on a role, and a lackluster performance by the Boners couldn't slow down the dude. Let's get things moving, Graham!

Week 3 Awards:
Team of the Week: Marlowe's fire bugs. From last place, they get the week's highest point total with a win over last week's hottest team.
Player of the Week: Philadelphia RB Brian Westbrook, owned by Marlowe. Amazing game - his 40 fantasy points made the difference in this upset.
Most Disappointing Team of the Week: Tristan's Fighting Skeeters. They were great last week, but couldn't get it done this time. It's hard to tell how good this team is.
Game of the Week: This is getting repetitive, but Marlowe deserves a lot of credit for turning her franchise around. The big upset over the Skeeters makes that the game of the week.

Current Standings:

1.	One Lame Dude	3-0-0	1.000	367	W-3	2	-
2.	Morphing Jelly Rollz	2-1-0	.667	281	W-2	8	8
3.	Smackdown Zombies	2-1-0	.667	271	W-1	3	7
4.	Fighting Skeeters	1-2-0	.333	304	L-1	5	1
5.	fire bugs	1-2-0	.333	282	W-1	1	8
6.	Delicious Nachos	1-2-0	.333	257	L-2	4	-
7.	Mean Machine	1-2-0	.333	251	L-2	6	7
8.	The Hidden Boners	1-2-0	.333	251	L-1	7	-

Week 4 Preview:
Matchup of the Week: Morphing Jelly Rollz vs. One Lame Dude. The top two teams in the league take each other on. Stefan has to be the favorite, but Johannes has got a chance and can make something happen.
Other games: Nicole's Nachos take on Tristan's Skeeters - Two of this week's losers go at it. There's a lot of bad blood between these two managers. fire bugs vs. Mean Machine - Marlowe's got a good chance to make it two in a row. Graham's Boners vs. Tricia's Zombies - Two disappointing teams need to make something happen.

Everything But the Girl

TV Carnage

Cool Government Acronym

TREX: The FBI's Terrorist Review and Examination Unit.

RC40 & FoI in East Lansing

Everyone,

RC40 is happening soon. I've heard rumors of some of you attending. I'm not sure who and I'm not sure from where you'll be coming. However, Fields of Industry will be playing a (weird) show in East Lansing that weekend, on the 19th. It's at the East Lansing Espresso Royale. Yeah, yeah, a coffee shop show. I never know what to do with these. It's kind of a show but kind of not, because on the one hand, the place is doing you a favor by letting you play, but on the other hand, there's this unspoken expectation that you become part of the physical structure of the building, the fake "cafe" atmosphere or whatever; don't play too loud, don't bother anybody, don't draw any attention to yourself, just sit there and be an element of my peripheral experience while I buy this cup of coffee, glance at you disinterestedly and leave. Though even that probably won't happen on a Friday night, 'cause who goes out for coffee on a Friday? Not anybody who wants to listen to some space out band, that's for sure. Just people like me who are too limited in their capacity to generate ideas for action that they just end up doing the same thing all the time: "It's Friday night, what should I do? Well, I like to drink coffee, maybe I'll go to some franchised coffee shop since that's what I always do." To make it more weird, we have an open performance window of 8:00-11:30. We can't fill that unless we decide to bring Eric's new reel-to-reel tape machine along and play tape loops for twenty minutes between songs. As awesome as that would be...

Anyway, if you're making the pilgrimage to Ann Arbor the weekend of 10/19, please consider coming up to East Lansing. I'd be happy to see any and all of you, though I'm sure I'd see you in Ann Arbor too, since I plan on checking out the RC festivities.

Best Regards,

Joshua (4 out of 10 eccentricity points) Barton

This is for you, GORO:

Eccentrics 'R' Us

Alright, time to lay down a few ground rules. 1.) Don't get jealous if you're less eccentric than somebody else. Sorry hipsters, that's just the way of the world. Eat it. 2.) Don't get all happy because you got rated high on the eccentricity scale, doesn't mean shit. Fuck the eccentrics, that's what I say. They are a veritable cancer, a rotting plague haunting the less eccentric amongst us. Eccentrics are just people whose parents are all fucked up anyway. I know, I know, some of you wish you had fucked up parents too, because only the kids with fucked up parents were "cool" in high school, because they did drugs or skipped class or swore at their teacher as if it wasn't a big deal, but still, be glad that your parents were boring, worthless predictabilities; rest assured, you shall be amongst the chosen to ensure the procreation of flat nullity and boredom. Sure, the eccentrics will be "more interesting" than you are, because they're "weird" and always misuse their silverware, but it's all a sham, they probably still masturbate to the same porn you do. So there.

dmx mehter music remix

Voices of children in the background...

Hi everyone,

This is a picture I took from the window of the apartment Natasha and I rented in Prague and I thought you would like to see it, since this is the castle under which Kafka lived.

14 Strangest Titles

Every weekend, there is a free book fair near my house. I went to the official website of the bookfair, and this is what I found.

We kid you not. These are real titles that have been donated to The Book Thing .

• Alien Abductees Handbook
• How to Enjoy Sex while Conscious
• Handbook of Underwater Acoustics
• How to Read a Book
• Psychological Effects Preventing Nuclear War
• Population Control through Nuclear Pollution
• How to Make a Moron
• Headhunting in the Solomon Islands
• Elephants in pink Tutus
• The Screwing of the Average Man
• 1978 Oahu Bus Schedule
• Advice from a Failure
• Suture Self
• Superfluous Hair and Its Removal

Adventures on the River Wikipedia: Sikh Solidarity Yields Afghan Annoyance

The Battle of Saragarhi was fought during the Tirah Campaign on 12 September 1897 between twenty one Sikhs of the 4th Battalion (then 36th Sikhs) of the Sikh Regiment of British India, defending an army post, and 10,000 [1]Afghan and Orakzais tribesmen to the last stand. The battle occurred in the North-West Frontier Province, now a part of Pakistan, which then formed part of British India. The battle has been ranked as one of very few events of such bravery and has been compared to Thermopylae, where a small Greek force faced a large Persian army of Xerxes (480 BC). UNESCO has described the Battle of Saragarhi as one of eight stories of collective bravery.

In order to consolidate their position and to control the insurgent and inimical activities of some of the local tribal groups inhabiting the north-western frontiers of undivided India, the British rulers of India had constructed a number of forts in the North West Frontier Province (NWFP), then a part of India but now in Pakistan. Fort Lockhart and Fort Gulistan, a few kilometres apart, were two such forts. They were located on the Samana ridge of the Hindukush and Sulaiman ranges. As the two forts were not visible from one another, a suitably camouflaged signalling post named Saragarhi was created to provide heliographic communications between the two forts. In 1897, insurgent and inimical activities had increased, and on 3rd and 9 September Afridi tribes, with allegiance to Afghans, attacked Fort Gulistan. Both the attacks were repulsed, and a relief column from Fort Lockhart, on its return trip, reinforced the signalling detachment positioned at Saragarhi, making its strength to one Non Commissioned Officer (NCO) and twenty troops of Other Ranks

On 12 September 1897, the troops of Orakazai and Afridi tribes, instigated by the Afghans, mounted fresh attacks, laid a siege on Fort Lockhart and Saragarhi, with the intent to overrunning the Saragarhi, and preventing any support reaching Saragarhi from the Fort. Officers and troops of the Indian army stationed in the Fort Lockhart had counted at least 14 standards (used by troops of Orkazai and Afridi tribal), which according to local configuration, amounted to an assault force of 12000 to 14000 armed tribesmen. In view of the determination of the garrison to continue fighting and defending their position, the Afghans made them several tempting promises to obtain their surrender. The Sikhs ignored all such overtures.
For hours the fierce fighting continued, while the enemy suffered losses, the number of the defenders was shrinking too, and their stock of ammunition was also being depleted. Sepoy Gurumukh Singh was flashing every detail of the battle through heliographic signals. Meanwhile, the enemy set ablaze the area surrounding Saragarhi. Two of the enemy were then able to make a breach in the wall of the signalling post. In the final stages of the battle, hand-to-hand fighting ensued.
The battle now approached too close to Sepoy Gurumukh Singh for him to continue signalling. He signalled to seek permission to close the heliograph. Permission to this effect was flashed back. He packed the heliograph equipment in its leather bag, took out his rifle and commenced firing on the intruding enemies, killing 20 of them, before he died fighting.
The tribesmen set on fire the signalling post. Every defender of Saragarhi had laid down his life to the last man and to the last bullet.

Jane Piton Saint Martin

If you want to see more, look at Eddie's facebook

Eccentricity Scale

Annie and I just finished working on this:

3: Joel
4: Annie, Eddie, Josh, Marlowe
5: Tristan, Graham, Tricia, Stefan
6: Nicole, Dax
7: Adam, Johnny, Vlad, Justin, Colin, Ian
8: Chris, Tarek, Brian
9: Paul
10: Shakey Jake

If you think you belong higher on the scale, immediately subtract one eccentricity point. If you think you belong lower, immediately add one eccentricity point.

You That Hot?

"Any time he rubs me out I deserve rubbing. What's he got against you?"
"He's guessed I'm going to make a nuisance of myself."
"Too bad. Dinah told me you were a pretty good guy, except kind of Scotch with the roll."
"I had a nice visit. Will you tell me what you know about Donald Willsson's killing?"
"His wife plugged him."
"You saw her?"
"I saw her the next second -- with the gat in her hand."
"That's no good to either of us," I said. "I don't know how far you've got it cooked. Rigged right, you could make it stick in court, maybe, but you'll not get a chance to make your play there. If Noonan takes you at all he'll take you stiff. Give me the straight of it. I only need that to pop the job."
He dropped his cigarette on the floor, mashed it under his foot, and asked:
"You that hot?"

Where are they now?

(props to my friend Dan for discovering this)

Remember the book and movieThe Indian in the Cupboard? Ever wonder what the "indian" is doing now?


He's a HIP HOP ARTIST called Litefoot.


With some pretty damn good beats.

SCFL Week 2 Recap & Week 3 Preview

The second week of the Swim Club Football League was certainly exciting, as three of the four week one winners suffered troubling setbacks. Every week, the Office of the League Commissioner will issue a detailed analysis of matchups, teams, and noises from the SCFL rumor mill.

Week 2 Recap:
Fighting Skeeters (Tristan) defeat Smackdown Zombies (Tricia), 135-81. Following a disappointing performance last week which left them at the very bottom of the league table, the Skeeters showed that they will be a factor this season. On the strength of excellent play by Brett Favre (who this week set the all time record for wins by an NFL quarterback), all three wide receivers, and both running backs, the Commissioner's squad scored a league-high 135 points against the Zombies, catapulting them to second place. Why did last week's best squad not hold its own? The biggest problem was poor wide receiver play, and it will be interesting to see if any changes will be made by their astute manager. Don't write them off - the Zombies can bite your face off at any moment.
Hidden Boners (Graham) defeat Mean Machine (Justin), 107-81. The other Pittsburgh powerhouse also stumbled last week, and netted the same point total as the Zombies. Despite poor play by superstar LaDanian Tomlinson and NEGATIVE points by a shitty Miami defense, the Boners triumphed over the Machine on the strength of an amazing outing by Carolina WR Steve Smith (most borinig name in football!). Justin's squad also suffered from disappointing receiver play, and will need some better performances to beat Tricia next week. Graham's team looks solid - if Tomlinson (who is generally considered the best player in the league) can do better in the weeks to come, the Boners will do well.
One Lame Dude (Stefan) defeats Delicious Nachos (Nicole), 129-102. Stefan's victory over the Nachos leaves him the only undefeated team left in the league. Poor play by the San Diego defense and the lack of a real star performance on offense left Nicole unable to surpass the Dude's mighty squad. Cinncinati WR Chad Johnson was awesome, and New England QB (and former Wolverine) Tom Brady was his usual confident high-performing self. Stefan looks very strong and very consistent, and it will be interesting to see how long he can keep his spot at the top of the league table. Nicole has a tough choice of whether to start San Diego's defense again this weekend or switch to Denver - it could make all the difference. Her team looks just a piece or two away from being a real contender.
Morphing Jelly Rollz (Johannes) defeat fire bugs, 98-89. The Commissioner's little brother got back on track with a close win over Marlowe's fire bugs (I'll keep with Marlowe's official lower case spelling the team name). Good performances by New England WR Randy Moss and the Minnesota defense proved good enough for week two, although it's hard to gauge how good this team will be in the long run. Marlowe's team would have beaten Justin or Tricia, but the matchup wasn't in her favor. Some changes may be needed in the fire bugs locker room, but hopefully they can gather their courage for next week's game against Stefan.

Week 2 Awards:
Team of the Week: Tristan's Fighting Skeeters came out of last place to be the top scoring squad.
Player of the Week: Carolina WR Steve Smith, owned by Graham. Awesome game - three touchdowns and 153 yards receiving.
Most Disappointing Team of the Week: Tricia's Smackdown Zombies. Last week's best team got beat by quite a bit, and will have to prove that week one wasn't a fluke.
Game of the Week: The high scoring contest between Stefan and Nicole was up into the air until the Sunday night game between San Diego and New England, which pitted the Nacho's defense against the Dude's. The Patriots prevailed, and Tom Brady finished things off with 22 points.

Current Standings:

1.	One Lame Dude	2-0-0	1.000	243	W-2	2	-
2.	Fighting Skeeters	1-1-0	.500	206	W-1	5	1
3.	Delicious Nachos	1-1-0	.500	197	L-1	4	-
4.	Smackdown Zombies	1-1-0	.500	197	L-1	3	5
5.	The Hidden Boners	1-1-0	.500	195	W-1	7	-
6.	Morphing Jelly Rollz	1-1-0	.500	182	W-1	8	6
7.	Mean Machine	1-1-0	.500	182	L-1	6	3
8.	fire bugs	0-2-0	.000	164	L-2	1	-

Week 3 Preview:
Matchup of the Week: Mean Machine vs. Smackdown Zombies. In the second boyfriend-girlfriend matchup of the season, two teams that would have tied last week will struggle to show that their week one success was legitimate. This is an important test for these Pittsburgh squads, and one can only hope that the winner will be civil and not make home life a living hell for the loser.
Other games: Marlowe's fire bugs take on Tristan's Skeeters - Marlowe can make a statement with solid play this week. Johannes's Jelly Rollz vs. Nicole's Nachos - NICOLE, I HOPE YOUR TEAM BEATS MY BROTHER'S! I WILL GIVE HIM A REALLY HARD TIME ABOUT GETTING BEAT BY A GIRL! Anyway, Johannes needs to get on track and have a good game. Graham's Boners vs. Stefan's Lame Dude - Stefan faces a real threat to get his first loss of the season.

W. 29

Just chillin' in the department, kind of bored, got class in seventeen minutes, don't know what to do, so I thought I'd say hello to everyone, and wish everyone a happy birthday. Happy birthday Vlad! Happy birthday Tricia! Happy birthday Dax! Happy birthday Paul!

Something Inherently Wrong

What happened next I can only describe as a grade-school reenactment of the Rape of the Sabine Women. Before any of my friends could even process the reappearance of the girls, gangs of other boys from our grade saw them, stopped, and yelled, "There they are! Get 'em!" The boys burst past us and sprinted across the parking lot toward the girls. The girls' instincts seemed to immediately tell them that there was trouble afoot because they all screamed and started running, too. The gangs of boys swarmed around them like border collies, breaking them into smaller groups and herding them into different parts of the playground. Apparently the angst that had made me and my group of friends so curious about what had happened during the girls' sabbatical had driven the other guys in my class to the brink of insanity. Suddenly, the playground was filled with the sound of screaming girls and the sight of boys strong-arming them into confessions. I saw boys pushing girls back and forth between them, backing them up against walls and the trunks of cars. I remember feeling very strange -- that I was witnessing something inherently wrong.

LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!

You should all be ashamed of yourselves...

R.I.P. Shakey Jake

SCFL Week 1 Recap & Week 2 Preview

The inaugural season of the Swim Club Football League is underway, and it looks to be an exciting one. Every week, the Office of the League Commissioner will issue a detailed analysis of matchups, teams, and noises from the SCFL rumor mill.

Week 1 Recap:
Mean Machine (Justin) defeats Fighting Skeeters (Tristan) 101-71. Disappointing play by Skeeters QB Brett Favre and WR Donald Driver (both of the Packers) spelled doom for the Commissioner's team this week, as Peyton Manning (Ind) and Edgerrin James (Ari) put up a boatload of points for the Machine. The Packers defense and Texans WR Andre Johnson give the Skeeters hope for a quick turnaround.
Smackdown Zombies (Tricia) defeat Morphing Jelly Rollz (Johannes) 116-84. Tricia's team is scary, and not just because they're Zombies. It's very Steelers-laden, however, so a bad day for Pittsburgh cold doom this squad. The Jelly Rollz, deftly managed by the Commissioner's little brother, suffered greatly from disappointing play be several team members, especially Stephen Jackson of the Rams, generally considered one of the best players in the league. He sucked big time this week.
One Lame Dude (Stefan) defeats fire bugs (Marlowe) 114-75. Although his New England defense was a bit sketchy, Stefan's squad looked very solid against the fire bugs, who unfortunately looked badly outmatched. One Lame Dude could be a real presence in the league this season, and Marlowe will have to address some serious weaknesses to contend. Her team did better than Tristan's, though.
Delicious Nachos (Nicole) defeat The Hidden Boners (Graham) 95-88. The first boyfriend-girlfriend rivalry game of the season also proved to be the official SCFL Most Exciting Game of the Week. Nicole's team was down going into Monday night, when solid play by 49ers RB Frank Gore propelled her team to victory. Graham's team looks solid, though, and should be able to establish a footing in the league standings with better receiver play.

Week 1 Awards:
Team of the Week: Tricia's Smackdown Zombies. The top scoring squad and very impressive.
Player of the Week: Giants WR Plaxico Burress, owned by Tricia. He was obscenely good with THREE receiving touchdowns.
Most Disappointing Team of the Week: Tristan's Fighting Skeeters. This squad is very Packers-dependent, and if Green Bay doesn't get things started offensively it's going to take a real toll on the Commissioner's ego.
Game of the Week: As stated above, Nicole's victory over Graham was awesome. Hope it doesn't cause too much domestic tension!

Current Standings:

1.	Smackdown Zombies	1-0-0	1.000	116	W-1
2.	One Lame Dude	1-0-0	1.000	114	W-1
3.	Mean Machine	1-0-0	1.000	101	W-1
4.	Delicious Nachos	1-0-0	1.000	95	W-1
5.	The Hidden Boners	0-1-0	.000	88	L-1
6.	Morphing Jelly Rollz	0-1-0	.000	84	L-1
7.	fire bugs	0-1-0	.000	75	L-1
8.	Fighting Skeeters	0-1-0	.000	71	L-1

Week 2 Preview:
Matchup of the Week: Zombies vs. Skeeters. Can Tristan make up for his horrific performance? Can Tricia continue her dominance? We'll soon find out. Tricia has been very active in the free agent market, so it looks like she's up to something.
Other games: Graham's Boners take on Justin's Machine - Justin has to be the favorite, but Graham's a certain threat to steal his thunder. Jelly Rollz vs. fire bugs - Marlowe can certainly turn some heads with an upset this week. One Lame Dude vs. Delicious Nachos - Stefan's team was almost as good as Tricia's this week, but perhaps Nicole can pull off some more late-game heroics and make it a two-game sweep of Grand Rapidian opponents.

Think You're Special?

There's a new Adam Jaros on the scene. Yeah, he seems pretty cool.

Smackdown Zombies vs. Fighting Skeeters

How come all the people who voted think the Fighting Skeeters are gonna win!?

Sex Clubs in Berlin

Club Culture Houze
Dark Side Club
KitKat Club

VA: 07S

I just became aware of the song "Umbrellas" by Rihanna last night. Are there any other good songs I missed out on this summer? Any songs that touched your soul (not necessarily pop hits)?

Don't Forget...

As soon as I got home
Reached for the phone(Foam)
Drank my sleep from a can
Playing tracks 6 and 7, again and again
I had a crush
Nothing works out
Well, I had faith
Could not have known; don't even say it.
Meet me again, maybe one mile high
Meet me again, and I won't flake this time
Meet mee again, Maybe a year from now
Meet me again, I think we both remember how
There was no architect designed this veiw
He could not have known about you
Mouse homes, catacombs
Detroit has a skyline, too
Detroit has a skyline, too
I had a crush
Nothing works out
Well, I had faith
Could not have known; don't even say it

The Rotten Apple

This is where I'm staying next time I'm in New York...

"MY APT AT 10TH AVE AND West 57TH ST IS NOW AVAILABLE AGAIN. iT HAS A KITCHEN, BEDROOM AND A SHARED BATH IN THE HALLWAY. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WORRY ALL THE ROACHES ARE NOW GONE!! AND THE MICE TOO HAVE LEFT. I SAW ONE IN THE HALLWAY BATHROOM YESTERDAY BUT I KILLED IT..."

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/vac/416610133.html

All I've got is this sunny afternoon

Last call!

This is your last chance to make a team for the Swim Club Football League. We currently have seven teams, but adding even just one more would be much appreciated. It's better to have an even number of teams than odd, and it's better to have more teams than fewer. You get the picture. See below for details. Who's going to swoop in at the last minute to make this season great? Dax? Josh? Adam? Joel? Greg? I'm going to flip the switch around 9 tonight so that we can start the season tomorrow. Sign up this afternoon or regret it the whole season long!

T&J in the news.

The event we've been planning is happening tonight! And we had a very nice article written about it in the Pittsburgh City Paper.

So now you can say you know some famous people! (okay, we're not mentioned...but we're there between the lines.)

xx-crossposted-xx

This shit's on!

I'm posting about this too much, but I, Commissioner Tristan I. Dreisbach, hereby announce that the Swim Club Football League will indeed have its inaugural season this year. We have six teams registered, with my brother confirmed to soon add a seventh, which will give us a small but viable league. The more the merrier, though! You have until Saturday evening to join the league. Do it! See the directions a few posts down.

The league currently consists of:
Delicious Nachos (Nicole)
One Lame Dude (Stefan)
fire bugs (Marlowe, I think)
Smackdown Zombies (Tricia - and an outstanding team name)
Mean Machine (Justin)
Fighting Skeeters (Tristan)

Football Update

It looks like things are taking off! Justin, Tricia, myself, and what appears to be Marlowe have established teams. My brother will join shortly, giving us five. We need a few more to have a viable league, so get cracking! It would be nice to start things this Sunday instead of having to wait until week two, so I'm setting Saturday evening as the deadline. Again, it's fun and easy, and will bring us all closer together by pitting us against each other.

The Light Went Out On Us

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

Will my fantasy dreams come true?

I'm not sure if there is any interest in this, but I've set up the online Swim Club Football League, and if anyone is interested, they should join. You don't have to ask permission - just join. It's easy and fun!

Here's a basic overview: You'll get a team that is automatically drafted for you, consisting of real NFL football players. Every week, you will be matched up against another Swim Club team, and the team whose players do the best that week will receive a win. Basically, statistics are converted into points, and the more touchdowns, yards, interceptions, etc. your players get, the better you will do. Think of the matchups! Stefan vs. Tricia, Tristan vs. Josh, even Graham vs. Nicole! All you'll want to do is check on your team once in a while to make sure that your starting players aren't injured or that one of your bench players is doing well and should be starting. It's very easy to fix that stuff, and as commissioner of the league, I would help everyone out.

A note: There is a whole lot of luck involved in these. You can know nothing at all about football and do extremely well. I always do very poorly, but it's fun anyway.

Here are the easy steps you should follow to manage your own team:

-You'll need a Yahoo account. If you don't have one, just make up personal information and you can get a login name and password right quick.
-Go to: http://football.fantasysports.yahoo.com/f1/register/createjoin
-Enter your Yahoo name and password.
-Click "JOIN LEAGUE" and then "JOIN CUSTOM"
-Enter our league ID#, which is 704697. Enter our league password, which is: scsf4life .
-Make up a funny, clever team name. This is the hardest part.
-Choose which cool football helmet you want to represent your team. Set your preferences and go on to the next page.
-Click "REGISTER NOW."
-Basically, then you're all set. There will be a draft as soon as we have enough people in the league. You start with a ranking of all the players who earned the most points last year, but you can change this ranking if you really want certain players. (I always move my favorite Packers to the top of the rankings.) If you don't care, just leave this alone and a team will be automatically drafted for you.
-Once this is done, you can spend as much or as little time as you want messing with your lineups. You can cut players, sign new ones, and offer trades to other swimclubbers. Or not, if you don't want to.
-Then the fun begins! You'll be matched up against a different swimclubber each week, and whoever gets the most points earns a win. Eventually, the best teams will make it to the Swim Club Football Playoffs, with one lucky team making it all the way to the championship, and 365 days of bragging rights! Maybe I'll make a trophy!

I Think She'd Go Out With You

"Cathy's really great, isn't she?" I said, trying very hard to keep an objective tone.
"Yeah, she's the best. She really likes you, too. She's always talking about how funny you are," said Dan. He definitely threw me with that one. And, because I was fifteen years old, just hearing that Cathy liked me made me start to get a boner. I shifted my books to the front and continued.
"Really? She does?" My nonchalant tone had been put to the test with that one. My voice came off sounding as if I were trying to talk in a car that was driving down a very bumpy road.
"Yeah," said Dan with a friendly smile. "You should ask her on a date. I think she'd go out with you."
Boner ahoy!

I know many of you can relate.

(original post here)


Overheard in New York: Conductor Edition

Conductor: While you are waiting for trains, please do not sit on the edge of the platform. Not only could you loose your legs, but you could delay your fellow passengers.

–Long Beach-bound LIRR

Conductor: The next stop is North White Plains, and everyone needs to get off there because the train will be aborted to the train yard. Yes, the train yard… And you don’t want to be at the train yard. It is a dark and lonely place…

–Metro-North

Conductor: This is the Six local train. Next stop is 42nd, Grand Central. And remember, folks, if you’re having a bad day, don’t try to have a good one. That’s just impossible. Next stop, 42nd.

–6 train

Conductor: Once again, ladies and gentlemen, today is July 31st. November monthly tickets are no longer valid on this train.

–LIRR

Conductor: This is the voice of your conductor. Remember, only I can move the train. [Pauses while train begins moving, then] See? Just like that.

–A train

Conductor: I wish you would stop sticking your head out through the doors. If you want to be the conductor, take the test. Then you can stick your head out all you damn well please.

–7 train, Queensboro Plaza

Conductor: This is the Q local. An express train is right across the platform. [Doors close] Wave goodbye!

–Q train

Imaginary Pigskins

Would anybody be interested in a Swim Club fantasy football league? It's free, and a fun way to insert some friendly competition into our online lives. You don't need to know anything about football at all, and can just let the computer make a team for you. The best part is making up funny names for your squad. Reply to this post or email me if you're interested. If enough people want to do it, I'll set a league up on Friday or Saturday in time for the opening games on Sunday.